Lost

Now I know why I wanted to act on my friends offer today.

I want to forget.

I can't hold this life anymore.

You wanna know what I see?

Or to be more exact, what I  don't see.

I don't see myself waking up in the morning tomorrow.

I don't see myself welcoming another year of Hell.

I don't see myself getting out of this school year.

I don't see my dreams coming true next year.

Above all.

I don't see myself living past eighteen.

That goes along with the word impossible.

I've said not to be worried, but I feel like that was more for myself than anyone else.

I'm scared, I'm hurt, I'm worried, I'm a wall, I'm two different people, I'm confused, I'm never going to get out of this. I'm not gonna fall in love with falling. I'm a suicidal head case. I'm only an addict with a pen. I'm the lowest I've been in the longest time.

I'm worthless.