In This World

You know I'm a dreamer.

I look at the big things I want in life and know that I could be really happy doing these things and want to do everything in my power to get there.

But!

Sometimes I need to take a step back and remember the little things! Because, depending my happiness on things to come is dangerous. Never forget that noticing the little things is a good thing. I admit I forget about them a lot of the time. It's easy when things get bad to think about how different things will be in the future and how big changes will happen. Though honestly I have a lot of good things in life today. I get breaks from school, where it kind of seems like life stops for a bit and I can catch my breath. While I do count down the days for school to come back, I also appreciate what I get because in my dreams down the road I don't get breaks, and that's going to suck. Of course that is only one situation and there really are a ton out there.

I've never been good at being optimistic. At all. Which has made me think it's nearly impossible for me to ever be like that. Yes, I will always be negative in some things, thank you depression, but there is always a positive side to a situation. So maybe being a bit happier isn't as far as thought if slowly I start and try to back up for a second and look at the positive side of things. Who knows what could happen.

That's why New Years is my favorite holiday. It helps people feel like they can start over and realize that it's not too late to do what you want. It makes what seems impossible not so hard anymore. It makes you face yourself and make decisions that need to be made.

I'm not completely sure what I was going for in this post. Maybe I just wanted proof later on that the world can be good sometimes. Maybe it was something a bit deeper but a failed attempt to discover the true meaning of what going on inside my head.

I guess I'll just leave with the thought that I wonder how prepared I am for what's going to happen this year and just how many things will happen. I look back to who I was a year ago, and feel like my years are growing longer or getting filled with more and more things happening. Obviously I won't know until it happens, but I'm excited to explore and see what more I can learn about this truly insane world.