Nothing But Dead Ends

What was I thinking!?

I admitted to myself that I loved you.

You influenced my life when you weren't even there.

I let my feelings for you encapsulate me.

I WAS SO WRONG!

I WAS AN IDIOT!

I became a fool thinking love can exist.

It's just an illusion.

A stupid meaningless illusion.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?

What? You didn't want to hurt me in the first place? Well then you should've just left me alone in the first place. So might as well just tell me the truth now. You've already broken me, and I'm scared I cannot be repaired.

I went through every possibility trying to make sense of it all. At least every possibility that involved you caring about me. I thought you did. As usual though I couldn't have been more wrong. Everything we ever were just hit dead ends.

No explanation.

No honesty.

Just the fool that I am and another all that I've run into.

Head on.

Well let me tell you:

My face and heart and bruised from running into your walls. I wanted you to let me in, but you didn't want me one bit. I don't know what I was to you. Somewhere along the lines of insignificant.

So I'm finally done with you.

Done with your lies, and your stupid manipulative personality.

You almost broke me, but you failed. Though you tried hard.

I'm strong.

I'm beautiful.

I'm courageous.

I'm perfect in my own little way.

I don't need you.

You gave me an illusion thinking I did, but I couldn't have been more wrong to follow you.

I'm my own person, and I have such a high potential, and I'm going to get up to it.

No more depending on others.

I'm my own person.

I. Am. Absolute.