Home

A home is not a house.

If you mess up and say they are the same thing. You are so far from right that I may punch you in the face.

A house is where you live. There you eat, sleep, watch T.V., and do whatever to get life off your mind. It may be a place where you have your own little room, where you can read, dance, and sing and hope that nothing outside will ever see what you do.

But that's just the thing. It's a place.

"Home is where the heart is."

So tell me. Where is your heart?

Does your heart eat and sleep with you? Or is your heart somewhere else dreaming. When you eat is your heart over crying in a corner far away because it can't stand to see you eat alone? When you sleep is your heart with you? Or is it prancing around in your dreams with everything you wish was right. When you watch T.V. is your heart engulfed in what your watching wishing to be far away from your life today living in a world where that guy and girl always find each other, and where your friends are true and no matter what goes wrong in all turns out in the end.

My heart is just like that.

So then where is my home?

I can tell you. No matter how confused and messed up I am. I can tell you where my home is.

It's the one place in my life I fully deem noteworthy. A place where everything can exist that never could in any other place.

It's my place.

It's where I'm not afraid of the dark. Where my friends are true and stand by me no matter what. It's where I feel I have a family no matter the holes in relationships with one another. It's where hope and terror can coexist. It's where there is nostalgia and longing. It's where there are no regrets no matter what. It's where a girl living in the deepest hole that she's been digging her whole life can have a boy that will jump in to talk to her. Where two people that could never seem to be could meet and see each other and know there was something there.

Every emotion has been felt there by me and every other human being that knows the truth behind those walls. Way back to the beginning. Something that one person could never see everything, but you know it's there.

So where is my heart? With my place? Or with him?

Where is my home?

At the end of this post my feelings are not the same as they were in the middle.

I feel as though one is my home, and one is my heart.

So maybe I don't know where my home is, and now me typing feels meaningless.

A lot of the time I say what I think either for myself or to try and help others.

Though one word has left me babbling and speechless.

Not house.

Home.