How To Shit On Your Life

I walked ran out of church today,
Jumped in my car,
Hefted up my accepted maxi skirt,
Took off my cardigan to embrace the sun,
and went for a drive.
But I didn't take off my shoes.

I thought of all the things I wanted to be.
What I want to do while I'm still stuck in this hell hole.
And where I want to go when I finally got it off my back.
I tried to drive in a direction where I didn't see any mountains.
But this place is so damn closed in.
I wanted me and the road and a destination I couldn't see.
But these god damned mountains give everyone inside them a planned future in "the way things should be."
I thought about leaving these mountains as soon as I could.
But I didn't take my shoes off.

I thought about all I could remember in my 15 years here.
The evolution of my friends.
The evolution of myself.
I saw what made me who I am today.
And no matter the pain.
It was worth it. 
Don't mistake that with it's going to be worth it.
I see this paper town.
With paper smiles and paper reasons.
Then I look at the memories I've made.
The friends I have today.
All concrete.
All real. 
I thought about these misfits I'd miss when I leave.
But I didn't take off my shoes.

I thought about all the these holding me back.
The scolding from the oh so wiser people.
The grades.
The money.
But they all forgot that I don't give a shit.
I'm not going to let this hold me back like it does everyone else.
They provide walls to a home,
But they don't let you out.
They don't let you see the sky
And touch the stars.
They make you say good enough over and over.
I gazed at the stars and thought.
But I didn't take my shoes off.

I thought. 
That's the problem here.
Thinking is what makes something amazing an almost.
Leaving who you are, to could've been.
And your life as good enough.
Don't be afraid to heft up your skirt and take a different turn.
To embrace what's so far away.
Take that long breath as you plunge your toes in the sand.
And take your damn shoes off.